I just watched a YouTube video by jdomakeup, who gives an update on her eczema. At one point she describes how she put honey on her face and body and how it was so sticky and uncomfortable, but her mother wanted her to sleep like that. Oh sweet eczema!
I remember the first time I tried my first eczema-be-gone remedy....
I am 11 years old and my last haircut was inspired by Liza Minnelli. My aunt says it's cool. It's not. I have a library card and know how to use the microfiche. No one says this is cool. It's not. My favourite shows are Little House on the Prairie and Three's Company.
During summer vacation, I ride my bike, in the morning, to my swimming lesson. Right after, I ride my bike to the library and spend hours there. Again, not cool. I borrow so many books, my plastic bag is stretched transparent over the corners of them, threatening to spill the load onto the sidewalk. I hook the bag of books over my right handle bar, and I lean way to the left to balance the bike.
I have eczema on the backs of my knees and inside my elbows. Eczema sucks and it's a definite factor of my uncoolness. It's itchy, it's ugly and it hurts and no one else I know has it, except for my grandma, who has it on her ankles. My grandma also has a lip that looks sewn up the middle to under the tip of her nose, a dog bite-shaped hunk of flesh missing off her calf and teeth that she puts in a glass. So that's no one I know really, is it?
All I have to do is stop scratching to make it better. But it's not easy! Sometimes, it oozes and makes my pants stick to the back of my knees. I don't care about wearing shorts. People always tell me how skinny I am anyway. "You're so skinny, don't you eat?" Yes I eat. McDonald's Happy Meals with milk. I'm not allowed to get a Happy Meal, if I don't get milk. And rice. I like rice. Plain with a little margarine. Just like my spaghetti. Now stop staring at me.
"Oh what's that rash? Do you have a cream for that? You shouldn't scratch it dear." I'm shy, so I look down and just nod. Besides, it's rude to answer to adults with, "It's eczema, dummy! Of course I have cream for it. My grandma sticks her finger in a small, brown, glass jar every day and rubs this cream so hard into my skin it feels like she's touching my bones inside. And I don't scratch. Not with my fingernails anyway. I'd get in trouble. I rub the backs of my knees really hard through my pants. The fabric is rough and it scratches my eczema-- not me-- stupid!"
I need to get rid of this eczema now. I need to get rid of it before I'm old (23) because no one will marry me. Skinny I can live with. Ladies always wanna be skinny. I don't know what to do. I can't stop scratching. I've got it! I walk casually into the kitchen and open the drawer that holds paper, pens, menus and the cure to end my eczema forever....