Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Immense Good of Eczema Herpeticum (An Update)

Something happened after I got Eczema Herpeticum, in exactly this order:  
  1. I started to feel really sorry for myself.  You can see it in a couple of my videos.
  2. It scared the shit out of me, especially when I found out that it could reoccur.
  3. It made me mad!
This obviously didn't happen within a 24 hour period. It was a process that occurred over months. 

Feeling sorry isn't really Step 1 of this process because I had already been doing that for quite some time, pretty successfully on my own.  I focused in on my eczema like a sniper.  I mean really.  It was rare that someone would come up to me and point to my eczema out and announce it to a crowd like I was a sideshow.  In fact, this never happened.  Not in my adult life anyway.  Maybe it happened when I was a kid, but it's been a long time since then. Focusing all my energy and attention on my eczema was all me, all the time. And as a result, I led everyone around me by example, and helped them focus on my eczema issues, even when they weren't.  

Having Eczema Herpeticum was the start of a big change for me. It scared me that I was more likely to have it again, after having it once.  That August in 2010 when I first had it, I cried. And cried. And cried.  The day I went to the hospital for the 3rd time, I whispered to my husband, "I'm sorry but I can't live like this.  I can't be ugly and disgusting.  I'm so sad." I did get better, as you know.  The EH did clear up in a couple of weeks.

And when it did clear up my sadness turned into anger.  Why was I stressed and itchy and ashamed and hopeless while nice-skinned people around me had the nerve to wear shorts and short sleeves?!  Damn them! Damn me and my eczema!  Knowing that stress was a huge trigger for my eczema and desperately wanting to prevent an EH recurrence, I made a pact to take charge for good.

I am happy to say that I have not had a recurrence of EH.  I have not ever taken the prescription of Valtrex given to me nor have I needed to. I have also weaned myself off those topical steroids prescribed to me by every doctor.  80% of my eczema has cleared up. And if you remember, I described having a bodysuit of eczema covering me.  

Yes, I could have just got lucky with all of this.  Or maybe the change in my lifestyle, self-perception and attitude is really a huge factor in clearing up my eczema.

All I know is that I feel better and I do things now that I would have never tried 2 years ago.  And I love it!


6 comments:

  1. You are really amazing and strong. I want to be as strong as you are - thank you for your website and your posts.

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  2. Just got diagnosed with EH today, thankfully we caught it two days after the outbreak (second doctor, first one said it was impetigo). Reading your posts is very comforting. I need to be more positive too, I worry way too much. I'm going to try and change for the positive.Thanks so much.

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  3. I am having a current outbreak of EH and have been in tears the last 2 days ..... i hate the way that eczema has such a hold over my life. Watching your videos has braught me some comfort and helping me to stop feeling so sorry for myself. Thankyou!

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  4. Thank you for the great info. I also found some useful info at www.howtogetridofeczema.info as well. Thanks again :)

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  5. Wow, I'm so happy for you - you have done so well! I hope this will help others !

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  6. Was just diagnosed with EH too, I'm wondering how you've been managing your recurrences or if you've still gone recurrence free since your last update?

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Xzema Girl / Betty